Conflict Defined
Conflict is an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce rewards, and interference from the other party in achieving their goals (Joyce Hocker and William Wilmot)
Expressed Struggle : A conflict can exist only when both parties are aware of a disagreement
Perceived Incompatible Goals: As long a people perceive their goals to be mutually exclusive, a conflict exists.
Perceived Scarce Reward: Conflicts also exists when people believe their isn't enough of something to go around. Money and time often fit into this category.
Interdependence; Parties in conflict often depend on each other. The welfare and satisfaction of one depend on the actions of another.
Conflict is natural : acknowledged by all in varied degree
Conflict can be beneficial : When the argument takes the positive turn and very objective the conflict is beneficial.
If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything as if it were a nail. -- Maslow
A study revealed that when conflicting parties argued in destructive ways:
# More concerned with defending themselves,
# failed to listen carefully to one another,
# had little or no empathy,
# used "you" language, and
# ignored one another's nonverbal relational messages.
Constructive ways of solving conflicts
# perception checking to find out what the other person is thinking, and
# Letting one another know that they understand the other side of the arguments.
# They are willing to admit their mistakes.
Personal conflict Styles
Non assertive behavior : inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict
Direct Aggression
Occurs when a communicator expresses a criticism or demand that threatens the face of the person at whom it is directed.
Passive Aggression
Occurs when a communicator expresses hostility in an obscure way.
Johari Window
This model is highly useful in analysing the causes for interpersonal conflict. The window is shown with four quadrants representing four distinct aspects of every personality.
Johari Window summarises of four cells they are:
1. Open Self:- Also called public area, this cell represents an ideal situation. Here the person knows about himself and others. There would be openness and compatibility and little reason to be defensive. Mutual understanding and friendship between people are the highest in this space. Naturally there is little scope or no scope for any conflict.
2. Hidden Self:- Also known as the private or secret area, this cell denotes that the person understands about himself but does not know about other person. The result being that the person remains hidden from others because of the fear of how others might react. The person may keep his/her true feelings, attitudes or secret and will not open up to others. There is potential interpersonal conflict in this quadrant.
3. Blind Self:- Alternatively known as blind area, this cell represents a situation where the person knows about others but does not know about himself/herself. As in the hidden self, there is potential for conflict in this cell too.
4. Undiscovered Self:- This is potentially the most explosive situation. The person does not either about himself or about others. There is a misunderstanding, which leads to interpersonal conflict. Alternatively this area is known as the dark area.
The best way to reduce the sizes of hidden self, blind self, and undiscovered self is to have better communication between the person and others.
In a nut shell :
Open Self : Known to self / known to others
Blind Self : Known to others / Not know to self
Hidden Self: Known to self not known to others
Undiscovered Self: Not known to self / Not known to Others
There are 55 identified adjectives used in Johari window.
There is another system called as Nohari window which uses negative adjectives.
As we already discussed the Conflicts arises because of the wrong perceptions of one's views by other. And these things are naturally caused because of the blind and hidden spots of the Johari window.
When these areas are decreased, obviously it results in better communication skills and hence resolved conflicts, which are going to be constructive in nature.
I want to add a special line about undiscovered spot. This is the most important part which determines the actual character of the person. It is very much important for a person to explore this area also by giving thought about self over often as possible. A solitude of an hour in week should help.
Sources : http://members.tripod.com/nwacc_communication/id21.htm
http://www.successfulmanagers.com/CONCEPTS_JOHARI_6ISSUE.htm
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